The Strength In Yourself

We all have the ability to change who we are in order to become who we want to be. We as humans can sometimes forget our common characteristics that we each have in ourselves. Courage, character, and confidence; the three C’s we all have. But sometimes, in situations, we can lose those. Sometimes we have courage to take stands, but lack the character to do so. Sometimes we have a strong character, but lack the confidence to realize it. What we don’t realize, is that sometimes all at once, we can lose all three and when we do, we don’t realize the effect it not only has on ourselves, but the effect it has on others.

Character is tested when you’re in situations and you don’t know what to do. How we react and behave in that situation determines our character. Character is tested almost everyday for everybody. Do you pick up that dollar and keep it to yourself, or give it back to the person who dropped it? Do you continue hitting somebody who’s unconscious on the floor or do you pull yourself away and walk away? Do you take drugs because you’re pressured from your peers or do you say no? Those moments, those actions; test your character. We all, teenagers and adults, battle with character everyday. What do you do when you lose character? Do you try to make things right, or do you go on with your day like it never happened? That is when your test in courage comes in.

Courage is to me, standing up for somebody or for something that you believe to be right or true. Basically, courage is something that tests our character as well. Do you have the courage to tell your teacher so and so cheated on a test, even though others will be mad with you? It would be the right thing to do, but do you have the courage to do it? Do you have the courage to tell a teacher or councilor that somebody is being bullied, knowing the bully will know it was you who told? Do you stick up for someone who is being harassed or teased? That is where confidence now comes into play.

Confidence is trusting in yourself and who you are as a person. You need confidence to have courage, and you need courage to have character. Confidence is when you had the courage to do something, now you need to have confidence to keep your head up and ignore those who try to make you lose it.

In one moment, with one action, you can lose all three of those characteristics. Then what? We as students, as high school students, as teenagers, are just now realizing how quickly we can lack these characteristics and how in doing so, can affect others around you. That is why it is so important, that no matter what others might think or what others might do; that you take a stand in what you know and believe is the right thing to do. Do not worry about what others do or say, because you know who you are and you know what you believe in. Don’t let anybody else stand in your way.

The truth on what happened to me

I’ve written articles about bullying, suicides, no tolerance for fighting and almost everything in between as an intern for The Milan News-Leader as part of my “Big Red Country” column.

On Feb. 23, I fell victim to a bully. To put an end to the rumors and lies, here’s the truth of what really happened at about 9:15 a.m. at Milan High School.

I was walking out of my second-hour class to meet up with my group of friends that I usually meet at that time. After saying “hi” to a few friends, I started to make my way toward them. At that time, I was approached by a bully who has been harassing me repeatedly since last school year.

Initially, I had no idea it was the same girl who had been bullying me until after turning around. When I realized who she was, I thought to myself, “Wow, you’ve got to be kidding me. This girl just won’t let up.”

She then proceeded to say, ‘So, I hear you’re talking about me.” And after that, I thought again, “You’re kidding, right?”

This was coming from the girl who has not stopped talking about me and making fun of me since last year. “This is a joke, right?” I thought.

I then looked at her for a long moment and I said, straight in her eye, “Yeah, I was,” and with that, I turned to walk away.

Thinking that coming from her, she will either just follow me and keep talking about how I’m this or I’m that or she will just walk away and realize how dumb of a question she just asked me. That assumption was a big mistake on my behalf because at that moment, as I turned around, she hit me so hard behind the head that I lost my balance and, from my understanding, struck the brick railing with my head. Even after that happening and me losing consciousness and blacking out, my bully then continued hitting me while I was flat on the ground.

I couldn’t move, I couldn’t hear and I couldn’t see. I couldn’t defend myself.

I later woke up to see a teacher stepping in and yelling, “stop,” and I heard somebody else say, ‘What’s she doing?”

I couldn’t say anything. I wanted to tell them that I can’t breathe, but no words came out. My legs went numb and I couldn’t move. All I saw was the teacher in front of me.

I woke up again to an emergency medical responder and my dad standing in front of me. From what I understand, I suffered a serious concussion and a seizure with no history of ever having one.

When I woke up the second time, I couldn’t figure out what day it was, let alone what happened. I thought it was a dream that I could wake up from. It was only until I was admitted into St. Joseph Mercy Hospital at about 7 p.m. that I realized it wasn’t a dream.

I had CT scans and X-rays done, and I remember breaking down a few times being upset with myself for not hitting back and being knocked out cold before I even had the chance to react.

But what I realized is that things happen for a reason. If I hit back, it wouldn’t be called an attack or assault. Instead, it would have been called a fight, and I would be in trouble, as well. If I knew it was planned and coming, she could have been the one admitted into the hospital, and I’d be the one walking away in handcuffs.

I know there are people outraged about why school officials didn’t do something to prevent this from happening. Honestly, put yourself in their shoes and think about what could have been done. They can’t read our minds and predict the place and time a bully is going to do the attack.

I let the assistant principal know months ago what was going on between me and my bully. At the time, I understood that they couldn’t really do much except have a talk with the bully.

I feel it was my fault for not going to them and telling them months later that the bullying hadn’t stopped and this person still wouldn’t leave me alone.

So let this be not only a lesson for all, but also an eye-opener. Your future could be ruined by one action that you make, one word you say, or the few hits you throw. Ask yourself, is it worth it?

Also, I’ll end with this: If you are being bullied, please don’t be dumb enough to take it on your own like I did. Seek help and if it still doesn’t end, seek help again. Or else, you could be waking up in a hospital, like me, asking yourself why you didn’t go back and tell school leaders again that your problem continued. If you do get help, you just might save yourself a few bruises and a lot of pain.